BLOG 1 – Where to start? Will I start with me or the other thousands over history that have tried to get the same message out? I guess I can’t tell their story, as over time it has been manipulated and changed. Only they can tell the true story.
My story begins at the age of 17. This is when I met a man, shabby in a manipulated society, long bearded and crazy eyed. Our paths would cross a couple of times over a number of weeks. Then he disappeared. The first time we met he was outside a church in Belfast city center. His reasons for being there where different from mine although we ended up smoking a doobie and talked.
I thought he was fucking crazy but I liked him. You could tell he meant well although said he could talk to god. I always used to think that people who heard voices or saw things which others could not, where crazy. So, I did not arrange to see him again but enjoyed meeting such a strange character.
It was about a week later I was at my parent’s house and I answered the door to the very man himself. Now clean-shaven, my mum asked him in for some food and we talked some more. He began to tell her what he told me. He said I was special and to not to be taken for granted. My mum agreed and left us to our own thing. We decided to visit my friends. This is when I never got my answer. He was explaining to each of us what we are and the purpose it served. James, now a promoter for an alternative center for musicians, artists and general peacemakers named, warzone in Belfast was described as a warrior. We all thought this was very funny but when it around he paused. Looked in my eyes and said nothing. The conversation went on and till this day I don’t know what he would have said.
A year past and I went off to Maidstone in Kent to study Art and Design. Here, I had the privilege to meet people from all around the globe. One including, Mica a beautiful artist but also an amateur voodoo practitioner from Brazil. We became friendly and would hang out regularly. One day, I was in the kitchen making a sandwich and made little joke in my head. It was rather funny but did not expect to hear Mica laugh in my head.
Six months past and still Mica was present in my head. Over this time, I had visions of demons, more unrecognised voices and a visit from Satan himself. This is when I learned that the door, which was opened, would not be closed. This is when it all got a bit heavy and I went down to the train tracks to kill myself as I thought I was insane. Even if I was not insane I felt I would not be believed and always be haunted by demons.
At the time, I was surrounded by darkness. I forgot that there was also another side of the coin, the light. This became apparent while I was sitting on the tracks. In front of me was a bright light. Due to the sun’s positioning I knew it was not a reflection. So, got up and walked away with a new awakening of life and what it is. When I looked back the train speed past. I now see that as the point where I died. Died in a man-made reality but alive in the original reality.
A year past without me telling anyone what was happening in my life. Until, I felt comfortable that was not insane I told my parents. Unfortunately despite having the best intensions brought me to seek medical help. Over a few months was convinced to take medication so my so-called ‘illness’. I was manipulated to think that I was ill, irrational, a danger to myself and other people and needed to take medication. So, I did. They tried various things such as anti-psychotics and various uppers and downers like diaxipan and sertailine. These did take away the voices but kept me sedated, out of work and addicted to the drugs they gave me.
After about four years of being on medication, despite being comfortable, relaxed I decided to come off them. This brought a lot to my attention, which had lay dormant in me over those years. The addiction to my medication was the hardest thing to conquer. Over seven months I gradually lowered my dose and am back to myself. I may not be comfortable and relaxed but I am happy and I am feeling real emotions again.
Recently, I went into hospital to get my side check due to a physical pain I was experiencing. I went along with my parents. During my examination, my Dad mentioned I had not been taking my medication. We where then told I could not leave until I spoke to a member of the mental health team. I wanted to leave as it recently has been re-brought to my attention that most of the nurses or doctors are manipulated by the text books the are given by higher authorities to shut people like me up. If I did leave the police, another manipulated authority by the government would be called to collect me, so I stayed.
It took a few hours of myself and my parents waiting in a family grievance room until a doctor came and saw me. At the time, I was proud of getting off my medication and felt free so was completely honest with them. Forgetting, you don’t know how long your leash really is if you’re stuck by the peg all day. I went on to tell them that the spirit world is real and what I told them from the start is also true. Since then, I have been visited everyday by doctors to manipulate me to think I am unwell and need to take my medication.
My parents where told by the doctors that are visiting me, that I want to kill people and send them to the spirit world. Unfortunately, my parents trust the doctors and believe them rather than me. This is obviously putting a lot of stress and worry on them. Thus, they both try to convince me to take medication.
I kept a journal called ‘Blame It On Drugs’ even before I had met that strange man back at the age of 17. Over the years of my so-called illness I recorded a lot of information on the spirit world. I stopped writing it around 22 once the medication had taken effect. I lost belief or faith in myself and but decided to write up a book on, The Truth About Drugs. This book has facts that are not manipulated to make you take them or not take them, just the truth.
Due to my re-awakening and becoming more aware of the system and their power over us all, I have decided to keep another journal. This is because I fear many are kept under control of the government for their own profit. One of these people is me. This time however, they wont stop us all. Despite being told by the doctors there are no other people who are telepathic and that can see things which I see, I strongly believe they are wrong. This is due to meeting these people they say don’t exist. There is now too much proof that they have been lying to us all for centuries. There are now too many people labeled mentally ill for being peace loving and too many honored for being manipulated violent puppets for us not to see that they are trying to pull the wool over our eyes. Not forgetting to mention, their so-called democracy still brings us to wars we never agreed to fight.
In short, I am being monitored. As far as they know, starting today, I am taking my medication. I told them on the phone that I starting a smaller dose to begin my treatment as my body would not used to such a usual high dose. Starting on 10mg of Abilify and 100mg of Sertraline. They said to me that I sounded like a doctor with my knowledge on prescribed drugs. I replied, well you pick up a few things when you have been the system for so long.
I‘ll keep you updated.