…..the next time and another key to truth


‘Blame It On Drugs’ was a journal I started keeping around nineteen.  I stopped writing it at about twenty-one.  This is when I decided to start writing a book called ‘The Truth About Drugs’.  Over this time, a mission I was told I was meant for started to happen despite my lack of belief.  Despite being a person normally considered by public as ‘riff raff’, I cannot avoid helping.  I have never conformed to being a role model. Although, probably should try due to it looking like the Spirit World is right. So, I’ve started a new diary or journal.  Hopefully, it may help too.


11th  SEPT 2012


I don’t know what the hell is going on anymore.  It’s been a while since I wrote a dairy but know there is so much going on I wouldn’t know where to start.  I have met so many people such as the couple Cassandra and Johnny.  Cassandra was the one who encouraged me to start a dairy again.  Johnny, a good friend and a band mate is a good soul to met too.  I’m glad they are here in my life.  I need their help right now.


I don’t know how to continue because I feel like I am going to whitey.  Sometimes, the truth of reality, man-made or spiritual can be too much. Especially when compared.   I don’t feel strong today.  My mind needs to relax.  It can be hard for me to express what I truly know in words.  Words can not nor can we fully explain and I feel sick to my stomach when I think that people don’t even care anymore to know.  Through all the media manipulation made for the drive of Man’s power most wouldn’t even believe even if it was right in front of them.  The funny thing it is. I have to think of the responsibility when I write and it makes me uneasy.  I originally didn’t want the mission and even now I don’t want the mission.  The way the human species treat each other and myself they deserve the hell they made for themselves.  Although, the mission seems to be happening anyway I may as well lend a hand.  No matter how may times I fuck up or get lazy it still continues to happen.


People are believing more and more about another and higher world.  Not only found in new religions but in psycoldelic drugs.  The point is, if there is a higher thing in control as a species we have been really bad.  Through slavery, taking other’s lands, lives and possessions’.  The main thing I see is that it is mostly through the hands of the various governments.  Their people normally become prone to manipulation in advertising and media, which is mainly, if not always under government control.  We follow the actions of their armies although,  know deep down it is wrong to kill or torture.  Even today, German’s who weren’t even involved in Nazi actions feel they have to apologies for it in some way.  We are all German though if you see mankind as one.  Together we need to try to help make this up and fix it.


I think the Spirits are wanting to be heard this for sure.  Many people hear them even more now.  Many natural disasters are happening. It is hard not to see when you take step back and try to de-manipulate yourself from what society has taught us.  The media has been feeding on our insecurities’, making us unaware that Man has been feeding our brains everyday, making us all turn into unaware, crazy animals:  Murdering our nature, our animals, mankind and themselves. As well as our own spiritual lives with Mother Nature. The drive for power or false needs have made us forget who is what is really in control.  They have driven mankind to live in hell.  The Earth is almost destroyed and the man-made reality they have made through the media is also fucked.  Who knows what to do? The thing is, life knows exactly what to do. Man kills each other for money and power forgetting the money is manmade and they can never have the power.  The actions of mankind just insult what is really in control, life, karma, mother nature or the spirits.

The answer to the question of life is

‘Life is taking care of it.  Don’t disrespect it.’

Gold is like Man taking a chunk of God’s toe and saying ‘here, do you want to buy this?  How Man can make things which should be priceless …. Cost a price



20th Sept 2012


It’s been nine days since my last entry but it seems like it could have been last year or last week.. I have been and continue on a drug binge consisting of alcohol, mariguana, a various types of psycodelics and ecstacy pills. Time has no place for me here.  I am chilling and watching life take care of things.  Aware that life is not completely full of positive energy.  The negative can feel safe to seek shelter but it is in the dark where lays the craziest of creatures.


Some are friends, listeners, helpers and/or messengers of the positive due to awareness and respect.  Others are not aware but of course play their part somehow.  It could be because our own thoughts or ideas will always help either the positive or negative energy.  I believe we should act on what is right and do try to help everyone. Sometimes, due to the crap I have been manipulated with over centuries of media control become ignorant of what is right.   Some are not even aware they are playing in Mother Nature.


I am witnessing more of the darkness surrounding humans and all animals.  I feel caught up in it but trying to find a sign to return to the light.  I have lost enthusiamsn for what I was told would be true.  I wouldn’t write down any of these entries never mind make a cup of tea.  The ideas keep coming in my thoughts and the ideas come out in my speech even when I don’t want to talk about it.  If any of the good ideas I am thinking get done life and mankind could keep their place on Earth naturally and peacefully.  Mother Nature is always trying to get out.  It is in all of us.  How long can we ignore our own word we’ve used for savage animalistic natural ‘karma’ before we die, that we start thinking, we could be fucked.  Should try and help some people out.  I’m sick of having to use words.  So much so, I have worked more on sending out vibes and receiving others.


I feel like I have become insane but to be honest I think I have just had a reality check.  This reality check is what can turn someone mad.  When you see and witness the natural world you can feel it, see it and hear it everywhere.  It is the hearing that can turn people mad.  This is a reality that most are not normally prepared for. It is seen as insane to hear another voice in your head although telepathy is seen as supernatural or an illusion of false intelligence or curse.  It is life.


Animals can communicate between each other without words because that is how their natural instinctive option to learn and communicate between each other.  I believe this would naturally develop without language.   We have advanced so much it is technically not needed for humans to communicate with what we know as telepathy, as well so not accepted as a way of communication.  It has been hard to keep this a secret I personally think.  It has taking a lot of controlled manipulation by the government over the years to keep telepathy between any animal, as well as human between human a bad thing or mental illness.


I’ve noticed, the mental health system seems to listen a lot and take notes.  It is not the doctor’s or the nurse’s fault it is being kept secret.  They just do what they think and are told what is right.  They would record many patients who talk about similar incidences I have been through. Due to legalities and media manipulation of what ‘insane’ is, the doctors cannot repeat or believe the answers. There is evidence of another sense we can use, never mind another world that many are witnessing.  I think it is covered up a long time ago for power but now due to the danger of how many human species could react badly to such a sense, they keep it covered up.


Now, the other world which would is now seen as supernatural place to anyone else, also being covered up and slandered with various lies, is wanting heard.  It can be heard in many ways and doesn’t need to be read about but taught as a natural occurrence of life.  Life or mother nature, the spirit world or god any word used in religions is found in all of us. To feel it you do not always need words to explain something that Man’s words cannot name or need to explain.


We’ve all seen it in life.  The strength of pleasure or feeling during a sudden increase in love or hate we feel in our hearts I think is a message that doesn’t take man’s words. It is a presence.  A vibe.  The feeling in our hearts that we can feel could be how Mother Nature communicates first hand.  This vibe that is felt, is so strong we can sometimes be so sickening and it can be too much to handle.  This is also what normally people say when they feel ‘the presence of god’ or ‘an angel’.  It is.  It is that feeling you get.  It is what everyone knows deep down has given us life.  It is life.


It can be sickening to the stomach the teachings or training that can help each of us lead to our fate.  I know that what I can learn will help in ways to develop strength and possible knowledge to help in the future. Our own fate would probably result from our own life surrounding environments, our personal past and history. Any lesson can help us develop and survive till our destiny in our body will end.   Everything we previously learned made us who we are today.  The fate thing I think is the only thing that is saving my ass right now.  Life will believe you when you say you can take it but sometimes it can be too much.   Sometimes the lesson you wanted to learn you already knew. If you follow what you know is a bad thing to do or a sign that could be wrong you’ll go closer to a possible reality of ‘hell’ that can create in your own life or head.


If you miss to follow the good signs enough, Life could break you.  This is life.  You live for as long as you are needed and you where needed.  If you survive, you are stronger or in some places, stranger than before but definitely more aware than before.


From watching life and hearing history, it is brutal. I can see Life has it under control in some way.  I believe if it is here and it is trying to help teach us and help protect us.  Currently, I think it is trying to help guide mankind out of a species gone insane by it’s own media’s profit and lies.


The vive as in any can be picked up to help communicate as a message or teaching from life, person or animal.  Which doesn’t take words to explain, it is a shame we have to write about it now and then. It didn’t need named with words originally but in time it has been named so many times it is hard to fully believe.  This has prevented so many people not being able to help themselves with Life’s guidance and teachings.   Instead put them under man’s teachings to keep some power or control.


The true teachings don’t need to be found in books or sometimes even talked about.  The true teachings or ‘first-hand’ experiences we can all get of gods, spirits or mother nature is what you can feel instinctively in your heart as right or wrong.  The feeling is nature inside you.  This knowledge is built in if you like it not.  The positive thing is, if you follow your positive instinct it will help make any animal stronger.   This power has been turned into a lie to keep us under Man’s control.




Despite strongly disliking Man, I can understand their concerns for this information getting out.  Even the word anarchy that gets naturally picked up in our heads meaning ‘riot’ is due to false meaning and stigma becoming attached to its original meaning of ‘no government’. Our minds have been so brain washed to what is wright and wrong through centuries of various plans for power or money that we could go crazy and riot under new information there is ‘no government’.  Most of us all want to do what is right but almost have a button built in to make us riot at the sound of ‘anarchy’.  If we riot they will easily be able to convince everyone they need to take the control back.  As a controlled nation most have been brain washed to let the governments keep false control for their own profits and greed for selfish power.  As people we should be pretty angry that for centuries we have treated our own species, other animals and lacked respect for nature all together.  I personally feel cheated by mankind’s false teachings.  Also, feel I should try and make up to and respect Life for mine, and others actions, manipulated they may have been.  Life could be pissed.  I know I am.


We should have known as we all know deep down, what is good and bad.  However, due to false, unbalanced and unnatural coverage of what is actually real, we don’t see life right in front of us.  Their ideas or lies are constantly being produced by the media and distracts the real reality of things.  All our main media, the stuff we are manipulated to think that we need to believe is controlled by the government laws, bare perhaps the internet and it has played on our minds of what is right and wrong.  This made so many of us people in the world crazy.  This can be witnessed on the internet where the truth can get out.  The lies we have trusted for centuries have made what our life styles and minds naturally become confused.


Due to our natural human instinct or purpose to do what’s right, you may feel you want to help.  It can make you feel the real human instinct and see what is the right thing to do.  We all feel the message with no need for spoken words. Life is in all of us. It is noticed trying to be heard through music, art and some teachings but constantly covered up or misused for the wrong intensions and thus forgotten or stigmatised. The truth is in us all.  No need for answers or the intelligence to know how Life does it just the faith that Life does it.  Then, if you follow your heart of what is the right thing to do, you can see the right answer to any question you ask.





Looking at human history I think the government system started when a man in a tribe said in greed, ‘I should be your King’.  This idea, the tribe man probably ruffly had started a cursed ‘trick’ of power, turning into The Asteces being the first government and so on.  The thirst for power is now everywhere and seems normal an acceptable thing to need.  Any power we could have should be used for the right thing, not for selfish profit.  From the start and till today, the wrong people got to hold the power due to the law they invented to keep themselves in power. The destruction is evident of the overall karma released from this defiance of what is the right thing to do.


The world is being destroyed by every new government generation by our own hands, actions and beliefs from the current government laws and teachings. They manipulate us with the thirst for power and false profit everyday.  We should and be the one’s in power of ourselves and try and de-manipulate our brains to look inside for what is right and wrong.  This is how we can be our own true selves.  I think most people don’t realize how strong they can be when they see and be, their own spirit inside them.


The Spirit Plain may be being killed in our man-made reality and land but is still there.  The ‘devil’ or the dark side, negative energy is thieving on all our ignorance so much we can’t even notice the destruction that our ignorance has now caused.  We think it is all fun and games because we live in a padded man-made world where Man plays ‘god’ but need to pay serious respect.


True gifts or exchanges always are found on the road of good and are and will always be priceless and can luckily not be bought.  Money has become stained with too many hands of wrong and manipulated souls that I find it hard to want it.   In this current hell mankind has made in their own act or game as ‘god’ money has become almost a necessity to survive.  There are little places left where we go to not lead to follow their laws.   It’s hard to hide from manipulation of what the law thinks is now currently right.  In a world rich of fruit and love there is already exactly what we need to make us all live well and happy.


If you take a step back, there is no need for government law or power.  There never was.  There was need for love and more sense, and a lot more truth.   I think people have forgotten how smart we all are.  Despite politicians acting dumb, we have forgotten how smart they really are.   If they are smart too they will stand down themselves.  It’s not just humans getting pissed off by the common politician’s belief that we should follow and trust in Man’s laws. We all already know what the real and true law is.




The real law of what is right and wrong is in us all and it should not be decided in the courts or prisons that we get shown karma or fate for our actions.  Man should have never have decided to act like ‘god’ and try and control our lives.  Once that ripple or idea caused to make the world forget, the basic truth of life was put in place, many governments grew to feel too much control of another, selfish pleasure and power.  This common emotion we all feel I have noticed is more a ‘test’ by Mother Nature or ‘trick’ of the devil to help wipe out the weak and create more loyal, stronger animals which survive on this Earth in peace.


Everywhere I look in the media, ignorance and filth is being sold for too much, it’s our news too much, in our leaders lies, in our TV characters actions. Many try and do what they think is right and know what the good thing to do is but even our own minds have become so riddled from other’s actions or teachings we forget our own.  Our own sense is the same law, the same right and wrong we all share.  There is a natural law in place.  There is not always a need for others guidance to get the answer we need as it all be found in all our hearts.  It is where the truth is and where the answer to what is right or wrong.  Your instinct is what leads you along your path that we all will naturally want to survive and help.



For many generations, the line between right and wrong is drawn depending on the fashion season.  By no fault of one but by our own slack of self-belief of what we know is right. We have all been manipulated to become reliant on what other’s think of us.  Naturally this could occur as our whole societies culture, over many centuries has always been built on what the writers of Man’s Law believe not ourselves.  Man’s law became written rather than instinctive.   We all forgot that Man never had the power or control to even govern our decisions never mind enforce them.  We don’t even need to take it back.  We already have it.


Life has a way to create stronger, better spirits to help life continue. So many souls are sold or not even awake to be heard from an ignorant and disrespectful popular culture. Connections can’t be made between our brains and souls as we are taught for centuries that they are religious or spiritual myths, normally fashionable to laugh at rather than respected as a plausible daily energy to witness and feel.  I don’t even think the negative energy wants to completely take over mankind.  I don’t think it ever did.   It was a ‘trick’ or a ‘test’ seen by some but not to all. This scary ‘test’ can at least be seen as a message or sign that can lead you away from receiving bad karma.




If you choose to dance with the devil remember what he’s dancing about: That you got fooled.


The negative energy, in any form, helps out and works with life alongside the good energy to create a stronger evolution. Now that Mankind thinks they taken over, there is no good energy left to be able to balance the negative.  Thus no game, no life.  What would be the point for them to keep mankind alive when we are so polluted already?


It is trying to help.  Trying to warn.   It’s a disgrace the human species has got to the stage that there is a need to tell us about Mother Nature again as a real thing not a myth.  It is telling us all deep down in our hearts what is right, true and real.


Most of the human species have become insane from the madness of false profits pushed in the media that we have labeled ‘sane’.  Deep down in our own hearts, never mind what we see with our eyes, we know what is wrong.  I am trying my best to de-manipulate myself from the media and going with my own sense of what is right and wrong.  I still walk around and am forced to watch so many people go by acting in such dishonor for themselves and everything else I am surprised the human species have been let to live this long.  So many in danger not only by Karma but with their own After Lives.  Most, unaware it isn’t the one’s that they hurt which will hurt the most but themselves.  I don’t want to care about.  I always watch karma trying to sort it out but feel that I should at least try and warm them they can try to prevent it.   So many would act in bad intensions sometimes even with actions that seem good to do. In the media we can forget what the bad intensions even are.  The negative energy is mostly covered to look positive by the media and ends up messing with our brains of what is right and wrong.  I think some may not even be able to feel what is wrong anymore.


The word ‘animal’ is more suited to describe the human species.  The human species have turned themselves insane.  So much, the sane now look insane.


22nd Sept 2012


Most of the time, I don’t want to continue the mission that ‘the voices’ told me I am going to live.  I try and avoid it by drinking heavily, smashing up my apartment or getting into fights.  At the end of the day, my anger of the mission is due to witnessing daily, the insolence and dogmatic attitude from the majority of the human species.  Why should I help them?


In history, the one’s with the knowledge tend to only help themselves to gain power of another and forget Who’s power they are actually using.  The knowledge is there to help yourself but when not shared and used for false profit, even by one, it happens again.  The original knowledge becomes forgotten, disguised for their own feel of power or muddled up in ‘Chinese whispering’ throughout religions, novels, film, or word.  The knowledge of right and wrong is, and always will be in our instinct.  The belief to make the power work in yourself comes from the belief that the Spirit World/Mother Nature or whatever, exists and can be seen.  This knowledge needs passed on from mother to child.  We all teach our children to talk.  Teach them to listen.


Many disagree with others opinions even if the overall opinion is the same. Many will voice their own opinion without listening to what Nature is actually saying.  Everyone wants to be right.  The strangest thing is, even though I know I probably am right, I don’t want to be.  I have always stood up for what I believe is true, especially when it will help.  I’m too paranoid of mankind to trust them not to kill me. Look what they did to the last ones of us.  They even use ‘kill the messenger’ as a normal way of speech.  What happened to ‘thank the messenger’. I don’t want to be their prophet, never mind their savior.


Due to them not listening or not believing my own statements I am slandered insane or pretentious.  They all forget, I never wanted to be given this mission.  I would happily give them my mission but can’t.  They don’t hear the devil or god in their head. And any other spirit that is helping council or advice me at the time.  To be honest, most couldn’t handle the 24hour mission and the 24hour voices present in my head.  I know the told mission and due to my own selfish pleasures I have also been manipulated with, sometimes don’t want to help.  No matter how many times I have tried to walk away from this, I can’t.  I have realized this and should make more of an effort.  It is happening and has been and will for a long time.


Having my soul born in a body for this time and world, is a living hell.  I can feel my soul finding it very annoying and frustrating to witness what has been done to The Earth, as well as how we all act and treat each other and ourselves.  Since a small boy, I have not been able to relax in this man-made environment I am surrounded. There are so many brainwashed minds, so much concrete and so many minds still on the hunt for power and money it makes it hard for me not to start shouting at them.  My anger as well as the Spirits seems to rise everyday due to their insolence.  I try and help everyday to get the knowledge I am burdened with out to help the species I hate.  The knowledge I have can help anyone to survive on this Earth well, never mind in the spirit plain where we will all go in death.  The information I have is so slandered over centuries of manipulation that no one wants to believe.  The reason for this I think is because if they do believe, they have a lot to make up due to their insolence and lack of respect for everything Mother Nature has created.


To be completely honest, I think the human species as a whole do deserve to be wiped out.  The lack of respect for my own words as well as for anyone else is an insult to me and Mother Nature.  The species may be luckily as Mother Nature can be forgiving and I will continue to try to warn and share the knowledge or true power.  It will help this I know for sure.  Will it be followed and tried never mind listened?  Or, like through every historic plea of a Spiritual Cry will the knowledge be used for selfish power and greed?  It’s a shame most humans haven’t worked out that their greed or selfish actions will get them personally in more trouble than they have left everyone else in.


Mother Nature can and will fight back to all actions with Karma, as our spirits lay in a human body in this built up man-made reality.  As soon as our spirits are out of these human bodies, we can’t hide behind anything.





I intended to write down what has been happening in my own life with this dairy or journal to help explain the hell I am forced to live in.  Although, find it hard as the rant or information keeps coming out.  Maybe, I shouldn’t complain about the crap we are all subjected too.  Perhaps, I should just speak how we can individually and as a whole get out of it.  Personally, despite it all happening anyway, I lost faith in that we are able to save it.


It has been written and talked throughout history that everyone has another one, a partner or a girl/boy to help them and reward them on their road of life.  I have met mine.  In fact, at the end of my last journal or book she was mentioned.


She is another soul with equal power or strength as my own.  If anyone who is reading this has ever felt a natural bond or connection for another in an eternal bond of love, you will know the feeling and certainty I feel that this is my ‘one’.


Many times we talked about our encounters with the devil or the Spirit plain.  We both had similar missions on this Earth. We where meant to do this mission together.  Although, from a past in her life where I was not present, she described a pact where she sold her soul to the devil.  I believe at the time she did not really understand the importance of her soul not only for her but the mission of The Spirit World.


We still stayed together, for near four years.  I loved her so much and still do.   As it is hard, if not impossible for her to act on her spirit or soul, it ends up hurting me in a way words can’t describe.  She still lives, breaths and loves and I know that deep down she is more than in love with me.  She just can’t act on it.  Her true beauty has been lost to actions such where she cheats with other men, acts on her selfishness, ignorance and would find it hard to do the right thing.  She is an angel and wants to do keep helping, she just doesn’t have the soul to do it to her true ability.


After so many letters of truth or actions of love, I had no choice but to leave her.  For years she couldn’t even kiss me even though I know deep down she wanted to.  She gave me little to no feelings of true love.  It hurt so much, I finally had to leave for my own heart after two years of the break up.  My heart is now black.  I wear dark cloths.  I sing with anger.  I laugh with the devil when I notice another in his trap.  It changed me to the man I am today.  I am the Dark Angel.


I guess it may have happened for a reason.  Now-a-days who would listen to such a ‘mad’ man who wasn’t full of darkness.  The whole of Earth is government by darkness it is seen as ‘cool’ to be dark.  They don’t run from the innocent, this is true.


Despite it all happening for a reason I not help feel cheated on this mission by no one’s hand but hers, innocent as it may have been.  I am now left alone.  No energy can balance mine because the only one that could is under govern by the devil.  I find it hard to sleep without her.  It’s hard to be happy.  It’s hard to keep myself under control.  It’s hard for the whole mission without her soul.


I hope everyday she will come back to me.  I wait in my house most days hoping she will call round.  I know this is the only action I can take now.  From always going back to her she will not learn how to win her soul back.  I have written letters to help her see what she needs to learn but they do not work.  I keep on trying to help her but the only one who can truly help, is her.  She needs to look in her heart and follow what her soul wants to do.


Until then, the pain felt between our two souls, hurts me every second of the day. I have wanted to do nothing more than go over to her house and hug her and waste no more time that our souls have already spent apart.   She probably wont even notice, nor care.






This mission of theirs or Mother Nature is a great thing to do for sure, I believe and know this.  Despite wanting to forget about it and live selfishly like most humans have been manipulated, I can’t help the knowledge and information ‘the voices’ tell me coming out.  In all my actions and speech I can see a deeper lesson being promoted by the Spirits.  It’s a shame no one wants to listen.  The knowledge and awareness I cannot help but preach, it the information which will help them personally, not only Earth and everything on it.  I have noticed people tend to look at and judge the appearance of my vessel or body, rather than know what is in inside.  Most forget or simply do not accept that my soul is in this vessel or body, as well as many other extremely powerful Spirits.  These Spirits as well as myself is what helps me discover and learn the information.  Most of the time, people will be listening to what I will and try to translate into words.  The information may come from my mouth but too many are unaware the information was not originally mine but from the voices, Spirits or Mother Nature’s which I ended up hearing in my head.  Words can be confusing as there are so many meanings and ways to translate what is spoken or written.  The main point which every preacher or profit always will make is never listened to.  Instead, everything they said or say is brutally attacked by ignorance and/or people’s own ‘suicidal’ strife for power which distract the one’s which want to listen to the main truth:


There is a Mother Nature or Spirit World energy present all the time.

You know what is the right thing to do.  We all know what will happen, even if it’s just in karma when you act for a wrong intension.  Why are people always looking for the answer for the right thing to do when the answer of what is the right thing to do is built into our hearts.  How long can we insult Mother Nature’s personal teachings by looking for an answer from Man.  Mother Nature teaches us all.




There is a very strong pscodelic going round called 2ci.  The strength of the hit makes you only need the smallest of dose.  The drug is releasing through people’s sweat.  This drug is then in the atmosphere and many people’s minds may go on ‘awakening’ journey.  This may be what is needed to help everyone on the Earth notice Mother Nature’s presence as well as see the horror of what mankind has made us live in.


Strong pscodelic drugs normally are used in ritual ceremonies to turn man into boy.  This ‘trip’ is done in the mind.  Through what he/she would see would determine on what knowledge or answer they would use to mature into a man.  Most ‘trips’ undertaken by myself and others include a sense of man-made reality being an illusion or a harsh reality of mankinds  actions.  If you hausinate in a city it can make your vision and thoughts see the weirdness of how the world has become.  It is hard to see sense of money or most man-made materials which normally would enduce laughter.  It is hilarious how crazy how the world has become and shows the sign we were meant to learn by taking the drug.


Mankind, have made the reality we live in crazy.  Our own minds have been polluted and manipulated by commercials, news and other media that we all can figure out the right thing to do and feel anxious, paranoid of each other.  Most live in fear or kill each other or themselves in the poisoned reality that we have all made for each other at some stage in our actions. This makes so many psycodelic ‘trips’ turn nasty in people’s heads.  Every ‘trip’ people undergo, even if took in a party situation we will enable ‘the boy turn to man’ message or have a spiritual sign to help them or yourself to survive in the World.


We have to de-manipulate our minds to feel what is right and wrong.  Let the signs lead you to the right choice.  Ignore the ‘tricks’ or ‘tests’ of your manipulated mind to do wrong and live and act for our and your good instinct.  We are all in this at the moment.  We are all are playing a part if you like it or not.  We have to shape up.  In any life, in any species, if you are not strong enough we will not survive.  In our human man-made existence we don’t need to be so paranoid of natural harm most animals are subjected to.  We hunt in Tescos and kill each other.


Right now, the desperate need to help ourselves from such a reality of what society has made us all is evident everywhere.  We have all been born for a reason.  In this time, could it be for anything else?  Especially, if that is where we all came from and where we will go when our body will die.  It is in desperate need for some help and we are here for a reason. For us to survive in any reality: fight for the love and the drive for the right thing to do. You may not survive for another crazy man’s lesson but from karma.  We all have to be strong for the right of good and Mother Nature.  If you can protect others with your natural built bodies or minds, it will help you and others.  This is the naked truth.


When I took 2ci, the vision I saw was what scum the human species really are.  And, so are many people that are taking it.  We are all going on our own journeys but all have the same sign: the ‘awakening’ to the something more and the scum that people have become.  All I can try is help to get the truth out.  I’m the messenger and what I’m saying is the message we all can hear, be good.


23rd September  2012


Too many angels bring themselves home with suicide.  Too many angels wanted to see and help what mankind have done.  Too many angels spoke the word but it was not seen.  Too many angels decided to be self fish for once in their lives. Some just did not they were angels.  They are sorry for their actions. As well as the other angels that could be discovered in us.


Over the past year and a half I have had three suicide attempts.  They did not work just like the other ones.  For a long time, I have had a strong incline that I will die by a disguising act of  Man.  I was told by what I hear in my head this is what they will do to me.  I try and not let this burden me and will prepare.  The pain I feel when I witness Mankind’s actions becomes stronger over time.  This has either helped me get stronger, darker or weaker to want to help.  Murder is the death for many people.  I will try and not let it make me ‘quit the mission’.  When everything that mankind has destroyed becomes apparent , death is an escape home and I will be out of my body.  As a whole and for what I love, I wont quit the mission, there’s too much at stake.


24th September 2012


I was taught in university by my Media lecturer to take time for work through thinking.  Just lay on your bed or where ever you can relax and think of what you have learned from today and so far.  Thinking of what you have learned and come to your own conclusions of what is right and wrong.  It works in the classroom and on their exams but it also works in life.


I remember when I wrote a question in ‘Blame It On Drugs’ with the meaning of,


How can I stop thinking of not thinking?  The answer is simply, ‘listen’.


I wrote this at the time due to the voices I would hear in my head hearing all statements I was saying back to them.  I ended up calling it ‘mind torretts’ to any thing I was conversing to explain a false statement by myself.  This helped for sure to keep myself calm.  It wasn’t until today until I released exactly what to do.  If I don’t want to think of not thinking or say anything back to what is in my head, I just try and listen better than I have ever before.


I go on my instinct of what is right. If I see a sign in life it can be anything.  People act on numbers, signs in music or television, wind or really anything which makes you see the message.  When my own head feels a connection to a sign I know it a sign for me.  It may be the same sign for someone else but each sign is individual.  We all should be able to feel what sign is for you and the try and feel what is the right thing to do.


This thinking thing may seem like a easy job to the one’s who don’t have to write it down.


I enjoy finding out through my own thinking the answers to life. It makes me feel stronger as well as truly free to know it’s not from another Man’s teachings but a teaching from instinct given by Mother Nature.


28th September 2012


The start of Awakening Angels 2012


Believe is a sign or a ticket to the spirit world.  It is a sign that is in many passages in religions.  But how can words describe a place that does not take words to describe it?  It is in the words or stories from all religions, prophecies, or voodoo boards that help us see the truth of Mother Nature.  It is up to you what you believe is happening.  The words in these texts are a mere portal to the belief of what is real.  These text and signs are clues to the reality of the world where words are not necessary at all.  We can all hear inside us the truth in all our instinct.  This truth will help you in life not only to get your soul to the reality of the world.  The Real world is always disguised with lies that makes us not believe what we truly believe and know deep down, there is a Spirit World.  If you believe in the place you will know and I wont need to tell you or talk to you anymore.  You will know exactly what this is and exactly what is going on.


Last night, on the 27th 11th 2012, I took a high dose of DOC.  I decided to try and get my Soul Mate’s soul back by traveling through my body to the truth of where her ‘sold’ soul could or would be.  On my ‘trip’ to get her soul back I ended releasing a lot more souls of true angels.  These true angels are described in many religions and faiths.  Now in different bodies they would have different names but you will know their presence and hopefully so will they.  If you know the truth, you will feel their vibe and person before they even have to tell you who they are.  What you truly believe in your heart is exactly what they are and words don’t need to describe them.


On the following morning after my ‘trip’ the clouds cleared, the light came out and the Sun appeared.  After a bleak dark rainy period, it was needed.  It ended up releasing so many souls and angels due to the act from acting for my own love and diverted ‘the mission’.  It ended up releasing so many true angels that have been imprisoned with no true believe in the reality.  Unfortunately, from current lies or ‘tricks’ being produced by the media, that are and always have been are being played even in ourselves.  It is manipulating our true believe to what is right and wrong.  From a constant ‘trick’ or ‘test’ in our belief it has stopped us seeing and believing in our instinct and truth in our true soul of nature.  It has keep our true souls quite and not followed.  If you truly believe in the fight of the Right, act on your good instinct and will not be ‘tricked’ or ‘ tested’ by the what is know is not true, you will see the truth.  Once you truly believe you wont need to be told who you are, you know who you are.


The sun filled the sky with so much love the following morning and I could feel the warmth of the angels released.  These souls are now out and also know and can feel the truth. It’s just a matter of time before they see and know the reality of the truth.  Their souls are strong and have been around before Man.  They and you never needed words to describe what is going on and who they are.  It is up to them now to believe in what their souls are saying to them and to believe.


I have spoken before to what Man has described in many words as the ‘devil’ so many times now we have almost become respectful for each other.  This is how I knew I could get it back for her.


The truth is in you all and not needed to be described with many words.  All these texts we have read in religions, or seen in signs in television, wind or what ever sign you get, is an actual portal of the true belief and place where reality will and always should stand.  We have all been asleep for too long.  Including myself, to the really to truly live in the truth.  If we feel the truth and believe in the truth, you will get signs in nature and in everything to know what is Right.


The more you believe and know what is the truth the stronger your soul will be released.  This truth can be too much for most people as our own brains could not take such knowledge. Due to our head being constantly ‘tricked’ by media most brains made it hard for any soul to see the truth. It is up to your own instinct or power of soul to know how to go to, travel through or see the portal to the reality of Truth.  We all original knew our souls before we where born in our body. We can all naturally feel what is known in our good instincts and that is what we need to trust in, it is not Man or his laws.


It is up to you how much you want to know and can take of the truth that will help your soul and Life be heard.  It has been covered up for hundreds of years to keep myself and others ‘asleep’ until we can stop being ‘tricked’ by Man’s to test your own belief and strength in soul of what you, me, them, us and all are and where.


The lesson I learnt over all


I have for too long either watched television, listening to music, to myself or another always distracting myself and ‘tricking’ myself to the true answer, listen.  Since we first started trusting in television for what was right, we where tricked to manipulate our own brains, to fill the silence and not look at what is real.  Once you start listening to what is real and not on a television, you will know what is real.  Once you know, it is hard to tell yourself it’s not true and the truth can be too much.  The power of your own soul will determine how much you will ever be able to handle as the truth.


Some of the knowledge, I try and explain in speech or text, will mean to a person exactly how their power of the brain and mind can cope with.  Too much knowledge can make you feel physically sick. I have written so much now and said so many things to people about this journey, there is no need to explain any further what I have explained already.  Although, think it is going to be very necessary.


I am still waiting for my Soul Mate to return as I always will, did and will continue to do so.


29th September 2012


I was thinking about how we are manipulated not to believe.  Once I did, I was angry at the one’s which already knew and believed already for never ‘waking’ me up.  I thought it was the illuminati or whatever people knew as the main one’s that have the ‘secret’ knowledge, where also trying to keep it from me, the soul for the job.  The truth is the one’s which did know of my soul where trying to ‘wake’ me up all along.  I think, trying to ‘wake’ us all up.  As this has always been predicted in philosophy, in many hearts and in many ways, the story or another clue lays again in my text.  The truth lies in your hearts.


The one’s which already knew this ‘trick’ before me had keep it a secret because we all have to work it out for ourselves.  To truly believe we have to believe and have faith in ourselves.   Souls, Dark Angels or Light who may not even be known currently by themselves at the time, all helped to lead me here. I can now personally contact the main one’s who where trying to ‘wake’ me the fuck up for a long time.  At least since I started hearing voices, already could.  So many don’t believe enough to ever be able to handle the truth of things.  This is why so many aren’t awake themselves but will continue to be awoken through every thing I have written down.   The truth is in the signs in nature, text, spoken word or anything it resembles at that point in your head as being right or wrong.  Your instinct will let you feel and know what is right and wrong and will help guide you.  Trust in your instinct and your soul will be heard too. Once you know your true un-manipulated soul: You can be your soul.  Always trust in what you know is right and not always on what someone else says.



Chris Cornell (Soundgarden)

Tomorrow, I’m taking a rest.



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